This comedy is not very funny, but since it is a family film, the tone is light and lighthearted. But the tone Porch Pirates they can’t save it from being bland and poorly executed. There are many structural problems, such as how unimaginative and unconvincing the characters are (the main characters are two cops, not thieves), how the primary gimmick is poorly conceived (it also doesn’t help that the gang of thieves look like teenage girls), or how many elements of the script are not premeditated (for example, the police do not decide on sentences). Furthermore, it’s hard not to mention the poor acting, which makes many scenes feel stiff, clunky and, at worst, cringeworthy. There is absolutely no chemistry between any of the main characters.

The “villains”, or thieving gang of young adults, are also uninspiring. None of their characters are developed at all, and, surprisingly, the most memorable member is the one who “messes everything up”. Again, more and more logical questions keep popping up, which will make most viewers ask questions like, “Why wouldn’t thieves mask their IP addresses from the beginning?” or “How come no one ever sees the same thieves steal packages, in the hundreds, over the course of several weeks?” Overall, though, most of this movie is frankly boring, especially for a family comedy. Even the climax, which should be exciting, just happens. Too many scenes clearly do nothing for the plot, characters, flow, or momentum, and could easily have been cut, which would have also helped trim the running time to a more enjoyable 90 minutes.