When your baby isn’t sleeping well, you aren’t sleeping well. Worse, there’s a somewhat cruel side effect that comes with an exhausted baby: a sleep-deprived baby is less likely to actually fall asleep easily.

“Being overtired puts a strain on the body and makes it harder to calm down,” explains Liz Donner, MD, pediatrician and BabyCenter medical advisor.

Of course, you want to prevent your baby from being overtired – but that’s not always possible. Life happens, and naps are skipped. Here’s how to recognize when your baby is overtired, how to get your exhausted little one to sleep, and how to avoid this whole problem – so you and your baby can finally get some rest.

Signs that your baby is overtired

It can be difficult to tell exactly why your baby is having trouble falling asleep, especially since crying is their primary form of communication. If your baby is overtired, it simply means that he is not getting as much sleep as he needs to thrive. A newborn baby needs at least 16 hours of sleep each day, with eight to nine hours of sleep at night and another eight hours split between multiple naps during the day. At 6 months, your baby will need 14 hours of sleep, with 10 hours of sleep at night and another four divided between two or three naps.

If your baby isn’t sleeping nearly as much, he’ll try to let you know in his own way, but there are some common signs most parents can watch for, says Dr. Donner:

• A frantic cry
• Soothing difficulties
• Rubbing or rubbing the eyes
• Droopy eyelids
• Body tension
• Fidget
• He doesn’t want to be held back
• He refuses to eat
• Emotional breakdowns
• Difficulty falling asleep
• He often wakes up at night

“Some overtired babies may take short naps followed by constant fussiness,” says Dr. Donner. “These changes in behavior can understandably be stressful for parents and caregivers.”

Reasons why your baby is overtired

Skipped naps

It’s tempting to skip naps or cut them short in hopes of getting more sleep at night, but this strategy can actually backfire. Getting less sleep during the day can make it harder to fall asleep.

“Babies need to nap during the day because their bodies have a natural period of wakefulness that starts relatively short and lasts as they age,” explains Dr. Donner. “When a baby stays awake longer than their natural wakefulness period, they run the risk of overtiring.”

Stay up late

The same goes for keeping the baby awake later in the hope of sleeping through the night. Your little one might fall asleep a little later in the morning, but going to bed late doesn’t promise a sounder night’s sleep, adds Dr. Donner.

“Being overtired makes for fussy babies who have a hard time falling and sleeping through the night,” she says. “You can’t just make up for lost sleep at night.”

Instead, keep your baby on a routine that best matches their natural circadian rhythm, she says. For most little ones, this means spending the night somewhere around 7 and 8 p.m

Additional stimulation

Finally, don’t forget that your baby is a tiny human, and the same things that exhaust you can contribute to their exhaustion. For example, if they had visitors or extra activities that day, they might be more tired and overstimulated and need a bit more rest before bed.

Babies need to nap during the day because their bodies have a natural wakefulness window that starts relatively short and lasts as they get older.

– Elizabeth Donner, MD, pediatrician and BabyCenter Medical Advisor

Ways to prevent your baby from becoming overtired

Understand their sleep and wake windows

Every baby is different, but everyone tends to have sleep patterns based on their age and stage of development. “Educate yourself about age-appropriate wake-up windows,” says Dr. Donner. “This is the time your baby spends awake between sleep periods, starting from getting out of the crib to going back to sleep or taking a nap.”

Wake windows are quite short during the newborn stage and lengthen as your baby grows. Establishing a daily routine around their nap schedule is an important part of creating predictability for your child and helping them sleep soundly, says Dr. Donner.

Here’s how long they last, depending on your baby’s age:

• Birth to 4 weeks of age: 35 to 60 minutes
• 1 to 3 months: 1 to 1½ hours
• 3 to 4 months: 1¼ hours to 2 hours
• 5 to 7 months: 2 to 3 hours
• 7 to 10 months: 2½ to 3½ hours
• 11 to 14 months: 4 to 6 hours

Don’t wait for exhaustion

It is best to put your baby down when he shows the first signs of sleepiness rather than waiting until he is exhausted. Watch for droopy eyelids, yawning, and rubbing or rubbing of the eyes. Then you should begin to relax for a nap or night’s sleep.

Allow time to calm down

Try adjusting your sleep routine to make it a smoother transition. You can try moving your baby to the children’s area earlier for some time on the floor, or holding them upright on your lap in a rocking chair with the lights dimmed. Then get into your usual routine of a bath (before bed), a book, and a few minutes of rocking before you lay them down.

Create a peaceful sleeping environment

During the early days, your baby may have slept next to your bed in a stroller or napped in your arms. When your baby is around 4 months old, he will become more aware of his surroundings. They will also start practicing new skills when you want them to sleep in the crib.

This is a fairly normal change. When this happens, you can promote sleep by adding room-darkening curtains, keeping their room at the ideal temperature for sleep, and adding a sound machine if you’re worried about loud siblings or pets.

How to get your overtired baby to sleep

Sometimes a doctor’s appointment, a family dinner, or an unexpected visitor can throw off even the healthiest routine. Every parent finds themselves with an overtired baby from time to time. Here’s how to deal with it when it happens.

Focus on calming your baby down before bed

Try offering a pacifier, feeding them, or holding them close while you move around the room or rock.

“Remove distractions including screens, toys, pets and siblings,” adds Dr. Donner. “Go into a dimly lit, quiet room and turn on a fan or sound machine to drown out background noise and create a peaceful environment.”

When your baby is calm, it will be easier for him to fall asleep.

Try to stay calm yourself

Having an overtired baby can understandably be stressful, but don’t forget to take care of yourself too.

“Use calming techniques for both yourself and your baby,” says Dr. Donner. Take a deep breath, hum a lullaby and rock in the rocking chair. Ask your co-parent, friends or the baby’s grandparents for help when you are having a hard time.

Get back to your routine

If your baby struggles to calm down, remember that routine can become comforting. Even if it’s getting late, or they’ve had more stimulation than usual, consider still working with your usual routine (even if it’s shortened!). This could mean a warm bath, reading a book or singing a favorite song if they struggle to sleep at night.

If you find that your baby is stuck in an extended cycle of being overtired, check to see if your baby’s wake-up windows have changed and adjust their schedule accordingly.

Breaking the cycle of overtiredness may require the occasional contact nap, but once your child catches sleep, you and your baby will be back to your normal routine before you know it.