By Cathy Peshek as told to Maressa Brown

Right after my husband Adam and I eloped in 2017, I stopped taking birth control pills, which I had been taking since I was 15. I wouldn’t say we were trying to get pregnant, but we always said we weren’t. , no I’m trying. After a year I didn’t get pregnant and my periods were messed up – one month I would have one, the next month I wouldn’t. At that point, I was 33 and ready to get pregnant so I went straight to a gynecologist who referred us to a fertility clinic here in Atlanta.

After many blood tests and ultrasounds, my fertility doctor diagnosed me with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), a condition that can cause hormonal imbalances and irregular periods. PCOS essentially prevents the small follicles in the ovaries from developing into mature follicles that release eggs (which needs to happen in order to get pregnant).

My PCOS diagnosis would set the stage for my fertility journey, conceiving my two oldest boys through in vitro fertilization (IVF), but little did we know what our entire fertility journey would look like.

What was it like to be diagnosed with PCOS while trying to conceive?

Having PCOS meant that my ovaries had tons of follicles, but I wasn’t ovulating. After the first rounds of testing (and many, many doctor appointments), my doctor, husband, and I all agreed that the best course of action would be IVF, which eliminates the need to ovulate. I would be given a course of medication to stimulate my ovaries and prepare my follicles to release eggs. These would later be fertilized in the hope of creating embryos (which could be implanted).

Finding out I had PCOS after dealing with so much uncertainty and then coming up with a plan was actually a relief. It was like, OK, this is the problem, and here’s the solution. I was an ideal candidate for IVF because I had so many follicles and my doctors presented it as a path to pregnancy that would offer a high chance of success, which I was very comfortable with at my age.

Still, it was hard for me to know mine the body was the problem. I know I didn’t do anything wrong, but I felt guilty that I couldn’t get pregnant without medical help. It was really hard for me to let go of the fact that I would never be able to pee on a stick and find out I was pregnant.

The journey to conceiving my two oldest sons

The preparation process for taking eggs for fertilization was difficult. At one point I was giving myself three injections in the stomach every day. I was taking these huge horse pills. I was swollen. I cried and threw up all the time. I was so tired. On top of that, I had transvaginal ultrasounds every other day, and it was a solid 30 minute drive to our fertility clinic. We also had to take out a $30,000 loan to pay for our treatment. It was really emotional and exhausting.

And even though I wasn’t pregnant, the doctors advised me to treat my body like it was when I was preparing to take it: I couldn’t enjoy a glass of wine when I went out to dinner with friends, I tried to eat really, really healthy, so that I had to constantly think about what I was putting in my body – and in general, I had to come to terms (which meant a lot of napping for me!). I didn’t feel like I was alone because I couldn’t live my normal life and it took a toll on me. Everything was changing. And even though I wanted it to change, because I wanted to be a mom, it was still a shock to the system.

In June 2019, after four months of ultrasounds, appointments and one full month of vaccinations, I retrieved my egg. It was the first time I wore a hospital gown and was under anesthesia. It was just a bunch of new stuff, and it was anxiety-inducing.

Fortunately, I was delighted that the retrieval resulted in 39 eggs, 20 of which were mature and able to be fertilized. We kept 10 on ice and fertilized the rest, and ended up with three healthy embryos that could be implanted.

After our doctor shared the news, I decided I didn’t want to wait to implant him. We just wanted the train to move, so two months later we prepared for the embryo transfer. The transfer was actually pretty easy – I didn’t have to be dropped and it took all of 15 minutes. The hardest part was just having a full bladder for hours beforehand (this allowed them to see my uterus more clearly during the ultrasound). And a week after the procedure, we received a phone call that we were pregnant! I still have my doctor’s voicemail saved on my phone. It was pure joy.

Our first son, Miles, was born in early April 2020. Two years later, we used another of our embryos to conceive our second son, Henry, who was born in September 2022. IVF the second time around was more difficult. I had a child at home to take care of, so I couldn’t just lay around and be sad and sick all the time. But at least this time I knew what to expect.

When I talked to my gynecologist about getting pregnant despite my PCOS diagnosis, she said, ‘It happens. Never say never,” admitting she’s seen other women get pregnant on their own after IVF.

– Cathy Peshek

But then the unexpected happened

My husband and I have always toyed with the idea of ​​having three children. I really wanted three, but after having two children in two years, I needed a break. We should have waited until Henry was 3 to use our third embryo. But then when he was just under 2 years old, life had different plans for us.

At the end of February, I just didn’t feel like myself. I was emotional, upset and nauseous. I remember my husband asking several times a day if everything was okay. Turns out I had a ruptured ovarian cyst, which can be a downstream effect of PCOS. I went to the doctor’s office and she gave me a urine sample, and since my left ovary looked swollen during that exam, my doctor said she wanted to do an ultrasound the next day.

As I was driving home from her office, she called me. I thought I must have left something out or they had a question for me. My doctor said, “Hey, the pregnancy test is positive.” I was at a loss for words, but managed to mumble, “What can I say?” She explained that she suspected something else was going on, so she checked my urine and all the tests came back positive: I was pregnant. I started laughing. When you’re dealing with infertility, you almost forget how babies are made, and I was just stunned, thinking, “Wait, how did I get pregnant?”

I went for an ultrasound the next day, and sure enough, I was nine weeks pregnant. Everyone we shared the news with was shocked, saying, “Oh my God, congratulations. You must be so excited that it happened naturally” or “It’s such a gift.” But in reality, it took me a while to be really happy about it. I was worried wondering how I would cope with my two children and wondering if there was something wrong with the baby or my pregnancy. When you’re going through IVF, you’re preparing your body for pregnancy before it happens, constantly making sure everything is healthy and safe with tests and check-ups. So this time it was difficult for me not to take the same steps. Other than that, it was a huge life-changing thing that we didn’t expect.

When I talked to my gynecologist about getting pregnant despite my PCOS diagnosis, she said, “It happens. Never say never,” admitting that she has seen other women get pregnant on their own after IVF. And while I appreciated her honesty, I still couldn’t believe it had happened to me.

My third son, Owen, was born on September 10, 2024. He was born early by emergency c-section at 31 weeks because I had what is called uterine windowor uterine wall thinning due to my previous two c-sections. The doctors told me he had respiratory failure when he was born because his lungs hadn’t fully developed. The pediatric team rushed him to the ICU and my husband followed. Before they stitched me up, they removed my fallopian tubes in a procedure called a salpingectomy. Adam and I agreed beforehand that this was the best option for us to prevent future pregnancies. Three happy boys are our limit.

My third baby is here now, and I wouldn’t have it any other way

Owen was in the hospital for 58 days and his stay in intensive care was really draining on all of us. The first month he was there, I cried every day when I left him. It was so small and attached to every machine, and it was so hard to see. I was sad to leave my other two boys at home to visit for a few hours each day, but I knew it was important to Owen – and to me. The day he came home was such a wonderful day. We’re all home now, taking it one day at a time, figuring out life as a family of five – plus our adorable dog Bowie, of course.

Reflecting on my journey, I only wish I had known to be more aware of my health. It sounds so cliché and simple, but I had never even heard of PCOS before I was diagnosed. I am very grateful for my support system of doctors, friends and family members. They helped us with the expected outcomes, but also with many twists and turns that we never expected. Conceiving naturally after enduring everything we did during the IVF process filled me with so many emotions over the past year. In the end, we feel that this is what it was meant to be – and our family is truly complete. Now I’m a mom of three boys – so I’m bracing myself for an even wilder ride in the years to come!

Note: Women with PCOS can get pregnant on their own, but many women with PCOS will need to use IVF or make major lifestyle changes to get pregnant. Always talk to your provider to discuss the plan that’s right for you.