Content Warning: Following a personal story that contains an experience with abortion.

Last May, my husband and I sat next to each other, holding hands in a fluorescent hospital waiting room. We learned only seven days earlier that I had a miscarriage, so we were there for dilatation and curetage (D & C procedure). Despite all the sounds of packaged and busy waiting rooms that surround us, we sat in difficult silence, we still process our grief. It felt like we sat there for hours, although it was probably only 20 minutes. Then the receptionist called us. I thought they were ready to send me to the unit, but not yet. She asked for my credit card – and told me I would have to pay $ 750 forward.

My husband and I had a somehore path of fertility and I was not a stranger for loss of pregnancy and trauma. But by putting this stye price on the D & C procedure that marked one of my most difficult moments felt cruelly cruel.

“You are able to one of the most endangered times in your life, and then you are asked to pay the bill,” says Nicole Taylor, MD, perinatan psychiatrist and member of the Medical Advisory Board of Bebecenter. “It can feel insensitive, colds, and as if your loss is not important – and that it is just a job.”

The loss of pregnancy is emotional, but it is also a financial strey for families, even with “good insurance” such as the plan that my husband and I have. Sure enough, three months later, another account appeared in my mailbox. This time for the remaining balance of over $ 700. Unfortunately, my experience is common – and I hope to talk about this can help others go through something like that.

Abortion are emotional – and expensive

A few days before my waiting experience, in nine weeks of pregnancy I started to have extreme bleeding and cramps while putting my five-year daughter for bed. I was earlier in this position and I just felt in my intestine to lose another pregnancy. I told my husband what was happening and laid in bed for the rest of the evening. As I worked through intense pain and continued bleeding, my husband and I just talked to the most night, thinking about this surprising pregnancy, and watching the photo of our daughter, just thankful. The next morning I went to the doctor on the ultrasound and confirmed that I had an abortion.

Because of the different traumas I went with a loss of pregnancy and all stress on my body, my ob-gyn scheduled me to have D & C to remove the remaining fetus tissue. The appointment cannot happen another week, so the following days were a whirlpool.

I had to have numerous calls with the hospital to go through the pre-op and surgery instructions, and I had to make sure that everything that was in school all day, with friends on the invitation as a backup in case things were went longer than we predicted. All this while we were still processing that we lost a child.

The last thing on my mind was how much this procedure would cost. I could surely call my insurance company to find out how much account would be – but I didn’t.

“Whenever we experience trauma, our minds and bodies try to protect us and often avoid things that are physical and emotional injuries.” Says Dr Taylor. “Maybe you were worried to answer and whether you would break or maybe you were in denial, hoping the circumstances would somehow change.”

Maybe avoiding that call with insurance was my way of pretending that things were still fine. The reality is even if I called, it is unlikely that my insurance provider gave me the correct cost in advance.

“It’s hard to get prices from your insurance before time for such procedures,” says Eryn schultzCertified financial planner and mom, who had two abortions before they had two children. “There are challenges with obtaining precise cost estimates because there are more services in the operation, such as your OB-Gyne and anesthesiologist,” she says. “And you may not always have access to specific requirements and codes until everything is said and done.”

D & C for abortion costs on average, about $ 4000 from pockets (sometimes more) even if you have insurance, according to the words Fair healthNational non-profit. For those without insurance, it can cost up to $ 9,000. “Even if you don’t go to an operating tail, visit your prescription providers, to help your abortion passed naturally and hundreds of dollars, depending on your coverage,” says Schultz, “Schultz says.

The baby loss can easily be twice as expensive as if there is one, because the average cost beyond the standard origination experience is currently $ 2,800, according to the Kaiser Foundation.

You are able to be one of the most vulnerable times in your life, and then you are asked to pay the bill. It can feel insensitive, cold and like your loss doesn’t matter.

– Nicole Taylor, MD, Perinatal Psychiatrist and Children’s Advisor for Bebecenter

As I started to cure, the bills continued to come

I checked my mail for about three months after my D & C, and I saw the hospital return address. I knew what I would find before I even opened the envelope. Sure, it was an account for $ 720.

Before this account arrived, I finally felt like I was in a good place, mentally viewed. We moved well as a family, but the new Bill was still another reminder on the baby we lost. Since affected by this account he has now felt like a stroke in the hose. The emotions were flooded.

It was the end of the fertility road for us – after this abortion, we made a decision that we did our family. But for families who want to try again after experiencing a loss, it may feel paralyzing to start more – and Pay your accounts at the same time.

“Once you were fighting with infertility, you may have already spent a little luck on trying to get pregnant,” says Dr.Taylor. “You may be wondering” whether you will even worry about whether you will be able to follow the financial, which increases your anxiety. “

How to facilitate financial stress of pregnancy complications

The hospital called a few days later to ensure that I received my account and I managed to set up a payment plan. While monthly bills were a great reminder of our abortion, at least I didn’t have to pay a big piece at once.

“You can ask your hospital to enable you to enroll in a 0% payment plan,” Schultz says. “Once you make a few payments, ask them if you can have a discount on the rest of the account if you pay that day completely – many times will say yes.”

Total cost for my abortion before insurance shoots was just over $ 14,000. Out of her pocket, I paid a total of $ 1,470. I was lucky to have a relatively low account, compared to what many families have to pay. Schultz, which is one in $ 5,000 from pocket for one of their own abortions, says there are some ways to help prepare for any financial stress that could occur during the process:

• Compare your insurance options: If you know that you are TTC, spend some time comparing insurance plans during open enrollment. Consider the maximums from pockets, premiums and deductions. “For those TTC, I often recommend a lower deductible plan, especially if they are 35 or older,” Schultz says. It is usually a better option if you eventually experience complications or need to help fertility.
• Extracting the Emergency Fund: An extra pillow can help in unexpected medical expenses, Shultz says. This can be difficult for a budget, but try to move a little every month and tap that fund if you need for health problems like D & C.

And if you pass through the loss of pregnancy, think about the following financial advice:

• Ask about financial assistance programs: If you don’t have insurance, or you need help to pay the bill, Schultz says that almost every hospital has charitable financial assistance to help in unexpected medical accounts. Call the hospital billing department to ask what are your options.
• Use your HSA or FSA accounts: You do not tax dollars should be used to pay medical services. Your HSA money can be transferred from year to year, Schultz says.
  
• Have your partner treated with a charge: Health accounts are a reminder of what you go, so if you can have a partner or a trusted family member and calls to your hospital, it can help you huge as you try to cure.

All of my abortion were physically, mentally, and emotionally hard – and I would certainly like they didn’t come with financial stress on all that. While I’m in a good place now, I know almost a year I know that if you’re in the goose, you’re not alone.