BabyCenter series “Going Viral” unpacks parenting trends and separates the useful from the hype.

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A friend of mine recently received a baby shower invitation with unexpected instructions printed at the bottom: “This is a display shower. Please wrap in clean.” She ordered the gift as usual, but opted out of the additional wrapping services. On the day of the party, she taped a bow and a card to the box and placed it on the table among a collection of other unwrapped gifts. The entertainment was as expected – plenty of food and rumours. But the host never touched the gifts.

Some celebrate the idea of ​​an on-screen shower, while others miss the personal thanks of future initial gifts. As one mom in BabyCenter Community writes: “I feel like people are going to get bored watching me open presents. My mom is upset about this. What have you guys done? Do you think ‘shower on screen’ is rude to your guests? Just wanted some input on this .”

It’s a tough job – should moms acknowledge the effort and thought each guest puts into their gifts, or should moms be entitled to a baby shower they do you want? Here’s what an etiquette expert and three professional party planners think about the trend.

What is a display shower?

A baby shower is a party where instead of wrapping gifts for the parents-to-be to open in front of everyone, guests bring unwrapped gifts to display on the table where everyone can admire them at their leisure, says Laura Windsor, etiquette expert and founder Laura Windsor Etiquette AcademyOpens a new window.

The key difference between an expo baby shower and a traditional baby shower is that opening presents is no longer treated as an activity, freeing up more time for games and chatting – or just throwing a party with a shorter timeline. For moms-to-be who may feel a little shy, it also keeps them out of the spotlight during the unwrapping process.

Why are showers controversial?

Those who are against party showers think they’re leaving out one of the most important parts of the get-together: showing appreciation for the support your friends and family have given you. “I think presents should be opened in the shower so that the people who so graciously showered you and your baby with gifts have a chance to see you open them and thank them for the gift,” writes one BabyCenter mom.

On the other hand, many shower goers love the idea of ​​display showers because they eliminate what can be a long (and somewhat tedious) party. “I feel bad admitting it, but it can be so boring watching a mom open all her presents, especially if it’s a big baby shower,” says another Community member. “I’ve been to some showers with like 10 people, and that’s nice and sweet, but I’ve been to one with probably like 60 to 70 people, and it took me hours to look at her opening presents, and I think we were all a little bored until the end.”

Tell your guests to ‘please be nice and wrap yourself in clean.’

– Paula DeLuise, founder of The Best Day Ever Events

Windsor’s take on this conundrum: A screen shower doesn’t break any rules, but you’ll want to keep your guests in the loop about your plans. That’s because, while party etiquette and norms may change over time, manners remain the same: It’s all about making sure people feel valued and at ease, she says.

“If everyone is fully aware of what it means to have a baby shower and what’s involved, then there’s no reason why people shouldn’t feel comfortable,” she says. “That’s why it’s important to ask guests if they have any concerns or questions.”

The benefits of installing a screen shower

Here are some of the benefits of owning your own shower cubicle:

• You and your guests will not be bored. The number one concern among moms-to-be and their party hosts? Watching someone unwrap presents – as adorable as they are – gets boring.

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• You can avoid unwanted attention. “I hate a lot of attention and have always wanted just a relaxed time with family and friends that doesn’t involve opening presents, baby shower games, and all that fuss,” one mom writes to BabyCenter.

• It creates a more relaxed environment. Some argue that it is more fun to host and attend an exhibition shower or other non-traditional shower. “I went to a few – two were in breweries,” adds another mom. “It’s so much fun, and it looks like a super fun and relaxed celebration that’s not super girly, just a fun hangout.”

• Saves guests time and money. Not only is the event itself shorter, but it also requires less money and less time to wrap and add gifts.

• Gifts become part of the decoration. “Displayed gifts often create a visually appealing setting, enhancing the aesthetics of the event,” says Melissa Fife of Events from MissyOpens a new window.

Disadvantages of installing a shower

If you’re considering a walk-in shower, anticipate these potential drawbacks:

• Opening presents is a heartwarming part of the event. “Seeing the little boots, overalls, and sentimental gifts—and the reactions and emotions of the guest of honor and grandmothers—is unforgettable,” says Renee Patrone Rhinehart, founder and CEO. Party Host HelpersOpens a new window. Fife agrees, adding that it’s less intimate and potentially awkward to skip the opening gifts because you’ll miss the opportunity to connect with each guest and show them your appreciation.

• It’s easy to lose tags or cards. Without traditional packaging, you may lose track of who brought what. Guests can also forget the card, which presents another challenge for the host and guest of honor, who will have to write lots thank you note after that.

• It is less wasteful, but not necessarily environmentally friendly. You can argue that display showers don’t involve paper and other unnecessary packaging, but if people opt for a clear plastic material like cellophane, display showers aren’t exactly an environmentally conscious alternative, Windsor warns.

How to throw a shower

If you end up having an exhibition baby shower, it takes a little extra effort. To prepare for this type of event, here are some expert- and mom-approved tips:

Provide clear instructions in the invitation

Include shower-specific lettering on your printed or digital invitations. “Make sure the host explains the concept to all guests when sending out invitations, with a note welcoming any questions or concerns,” says Windsor. “You can also cite positives due to the lack of an individual gift opening process, i.e. more time for socializing, meeting new people, more meaningful conversations, more time for activities (if any), for eating and having fun.”

You can also be creative with the way you word these invitations. “There are smart ways to tell your guests on your invitation that you want them to ‘please be nice and wrap clearly,'” says Paula DeLuise, Founder Best day everOpens a new window.

Set the display area

If you’re hosting a party, take some time to set up an area to display baby gifts. “The more space, the better,” says Rhinehart. “That way the gifts can be spread out and guests can still have a look.”

This section can serve as an extension of the party decor, and you can easily tie everything together with the same color palette and other recognizable details. “Designate a beautifully styled table or shelf for arranging gifts,” suggests Fife. “Use decorative elements like flowers, signs or themed props to enhance the setting.”

Find a way to connect and thank each guest, if possible

Take the time to personally reach out to each party guest to show your appreciation. If there are too many people to approach an event, Fife recommends holding what she calls a “moment of gratitude.”

“Even though the presents won’t be opened, the parents-to-be can still thank everyone together and maybe point out a few thoughtful or meaningful things,” she says. Of course, handwritten thank-you notes should always be sent after the celebration.

Create a system to track guests and their gifts

To avoid potential confusion, there are a few strategies that professionals suggest. Fife recommends giving guests small tags to label their gifts, Rhinehart says to keep stickers or index cards handy, and Windsor adds that you can assign a friend to write down who bought which gift upon arrival or even take a photo of each guest with their gift .