Your brother’s birthday = your new toy? Most mums say they give birthdays

Babycenter series “I’m going virus” Unpack the trends of parenting and separates useful of hip.


Every parent more children can imagine the scene: Your birthday child Fish open gifts, and the roller paper flies, and sugar levels. Then notice that your second child is fighting with not to be a star of the day – their eyes fill tears and melting.

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Managing Sibling Emotions is Top of Mind for Parents Preparing for a Birthday Celebration: “My Toddler is Really, Really Struggling with It Being His Brother’s First Birthday and that He is going to be getting presents,” says Babycenter User Tryagainandagain. “I know there is a lesson of resilience that can be learned here, but now I emphasize about that I don’t want my little one upset all day.”

One popular solution: giving gifts and senities. In fact, 54% of parents turn this strategy on their second child’s birthday, according to the baby survey. But is it a useful way to facilitate fucking secretions – or prevents children to learn how to deal with envy? Here’s what the child development experts must say.

Key writing

  • Most parents (54%) always either sometimes give gifts to children on their brothers and sisters birthdays.
  • This can reduce the conflict in the moment, but not teaching children how to manage feelings like envy, experts say.
  • Help brothers and sisters deal with jealousness by recognizing their feelings, giving them a special job and later spending one on one with them later.

Most parents gives gifts to brothers and sisters on the birthday of another child

Giving gifts to the non-birthday child on a special day of the brothers and sisters is not uncommon. According to a recent survey more than 500 beneficiaries for babies, 32% of parents always Give your gifts to children on your brothers and sister’s birthday, while 22% are working occasionally. Less than half (46%) never give sisters gifts.

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On “For him,” some parents quotes at the opening of gifts for their brother or sister, “I would recall the little gift, so I wouldn’t have left out of birthday gifts that it is important that their children learn to celebrate others.

“It is really natural for children to feel disappointed when not their special day, but it is an important lesson, and their birthday is all special,” says User Badhorse. And the user queen2 says that they decided not to give gifts to the prevention of “chaos and whining (on) every birthday.”

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Among parents who do not give gifts to Briarch, some say they are trying to give birthdays to a few toys that will enjoy both brother or sister. “I get a gift for a birthday child who can be divided and lead them to play together,” says User Lightbrights.

Should parents give gifts to brothers and sisters?

There is no answer that fits into one size should you give children a gift when the birthday of their brothers, experts say. But there are several advantages and disadvantages for thinking:

Pros: At this time, the conflict is avoided, and all children can feel involved

On the one hand, it is understandable to want a harmonious day without a conflict of brothers. And giving children not birthday, a gift can truly diminish temperamental darkness. Survey suggestsOpens a new window That jealousy can develop in children young as I 1, so many parents find the navigation of these situations during emotionally volatile little ones and preschool years.

Birthdays can also provide an opportunity to practice the work of kindness of all in the family, including a birthday child, says Donna HousmanOpens a new windowDr. Sc.

For example, birthday, birthday could give a bag of bag or other small gift to their brother or sister (think labels or book). “This can help (a non-birthday) feel special and recognized,” she says.

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Cons: Children learn how to manage feelings like envy, and the sister’s “maintenance maintenance” can be developed

When parents give all children gifts every opportunity, miss the opportunity to help their children understand emotions like envy, says Eileen Kennedy-MooreOpens a new windowDr. Sc., Clinical psychologist in Princeton, New Jersey.

Imagine this way: If adults are always rushing to protect the children from hard feelings – in this case, a difficult feeling is indignant when they celebrate their brother or sister for birthday gifts – they don’t give them an opportunity to deal with them. “For a child, not in the center of attention can sometimes be difficult, but it is not unbearable,” she says.

Universal birthday gifts can also promote an attitude that is maintained in families, adds Kennedy-Moore, which can damage the brother’s relationship with time. In essence, children expect to get something every time their brothers and sisters. Then, when in the inevitable situation where this does not happen (there is no way your children experience the same treatment every day of your life!), They did not understand how they did not process it. They can see it as a “loss” and pound the feelings of competition, rivalry and indignation, explains Kennedy-Moore.

“The mentality of running the result is the way to the misery,” she says. “Things will never be exactly equal, and that’s fine.”

How to manage the emotions of the sister during the birthday

Whether you are for birthdays or sisters birthday gifts, your best bet is to take steps to solve jealousy and encourage sharing and kindness throughout the year – not only on special days. Here are some ways to do exactly that, according to experts:

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  • Acknowledge their feelings. It is completely normal for you to feel left out when something fabulous happens to someone else. If your other child is upset, simply admit what they go. Say: “I see, it’s hard to wait for your birthday” or “you want your birthday to you today.” “This helps your unbeaten children feel, and at the same time point out that this situation is temporary,” Kennedy-Moore says.
  • At the same time, do not assume that they will have difficulty. Some children fight to manage their feelings during the brothers birthday, but that is not the case for everyone. If a non-birthday child is not stressed, do not feel the need to do differently. “Children understand the turn in a young age,” says Kennedy-Moore.
  • Give non-birthday kids a role. Help your child wear yourself by ensuring that they are involved in fun jobs related to the party, says Houmber. The non-birthday child can hand over the fun favorists, leave the cake plate, for example by decorating, place a table or greet fun.
  • Emphasize these special responsibilities before time. They talk about the role of the birthday side of non-birthday before The excitement of fun begins. For example, “We celebrate Sam’s birthday on Saturday. I could use your help, like a birthday, to …” SurveyOpens a new window It suggests that even children young as 1 can be shared and help adults.
  • Encourage compassion from birthdays too. If younger siblings feel omitted, they talk about what the whole family can do (including a birthday child) to feel more involved. “If the birthday is believed that their brothers could feel and come up with a solution that include and to help support and empower and learn how to consider the feelings of others,” Houghman says.
  • If non-birthday doesn’t want the sister not to want to help. “They can hang out until they hinder,” Kennedy-Moore suggests. “If fit fit, they have an adult lightly to follow them by fun until they calm down.”
  • Build in one-off for brothers and sisters. After fun, spend quality time with your irrantial child. This could be visiting the playground, having them accompanied by order or leaving for a walk in nature. This “enhances the continuous link and the peculiarity of your love together, even when it has been spent a lot of time on their brother’s birthday,” Houmber says.

Birthday parties can indulge in emotions for all-disturbed parents, excessive birthday children and potentially envious brothers and sisters. Give your family some mercy and remember that your children are capable of navigating these situations.

“Be sensitive and responsible for our children’s feelings does not mean that we need to protect them from painful feelings,” says Kennedy-Moore. “Empathizing and helping who approached them is more than trying to avoid all the pain.”

Methodology

The SNAP survey for the Bebecenter has spent everyday health group – pregnancy and parenting between 4. and 5. March 2025. We researched 501 Babycenter users.

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