This time of year is filled with fun and festivities, holiday parties and family gatherings, but with a busy schedule, there is also plenty of time for social lapses. Should a dish be brought or is it imposed on the host? Is it rude to be a few minutes late, or would the host appreciate a little extra time to prepare things?

We asked two etiquette experts to share their top holiday hosting “icks,” so you can sit back and enjoy a hot chocolate this year without worrying about offending your hosts. Below, note what not to do this year.

Chewing with the mouth open

Everyone should know this by now, but when that delicious holiday food arrives but once a year, we don’t blame you for forgetting. While I’m sure your hosts appreciate you enjoying your meal, this can spoil the dining experience for your hosts and other guests.

“Mixing mashed potatoes and gravy on the plate is fine, but not in the mouth,” says Lisa Grotts, an etiquette expert.

Repair? Chew slowly and with your mouth closed, taking small, appropriate bites.

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Arriving too early

You’re ready to go early, so why not come to your friends’ party and help them clean up? It’s a nice gesture, isn’t it? Wrong. Unless you’re specifically invited to arrive early, it’s best to show up 10 to 20 minutes after the party starts.

“While the intention may be to help, arriving early can interrupt those final preparations and add unnecessary stress,” says Kristi Spencer, etiquette expert and founder of The Polite Company. “Imagine vacuuming in hot rollers, which is not exactly the welcome the host wants to give.”

If you do arrive early, we get it – holiday traffic can be unpredictable – but don’t let your hosts entertain you.

“If you get there early, congratulations,” Spencer says. “Now take a quick ride around the block or check your messages in the car until it’s time to get in on time.”

Double dipping in a plate of vegetables

It wouldn’t be a holiday party without an assortment of dips, and no one’s really going to notice if the carrots get another ranch dressing, right? Etiquette experts say don’t risk it.

“Sharing is caring, except when it involves germs,” ​​says Grotts. “Double dipping contaminates the shared dip, making it unappealing to others. Plate your portion or stick to one clean dip for everyone’s sake.”

If you witness a double reduction of yourself as a host, do not remain silent. Grotts recommends mentioning it in a lighthearted tone and encouraging the offender to put more on their plate so everyone can enjoy the dip.

Arrival without enthusiasm

We get it – the holidays are busy. When you arrive at your fifth holiday party of the season, it’s easy to accidentally look exhausted, but it can leave a bad taste with your hosts.

“The host has probably spent hours planning, cooking and decorating, so showing up looking like you’d rather be somewhere else or not joining the party can really dampen the mood,” says Spencer.

This can easily be reversed by coming in with a smile and a quick hello to everyone in the room. Introverts don’t fret, you don’t have to be the star of the show, but putting in the effort helps.

“If you’re not outgoing by nature, don’t worry about it, you don’t have to be the life of the party,” says Spencer. “Simply engaging in activities will help you relax and promote conversation.”

I’m trying too hard to impress

You can’t wait to share your big promotion news, tell everyone about the new car you just bought and how your house renovations are going, when suddenly no one seems interested. What gives?

“Confidence is key, but trying too hard to shine can feel forced and off-putting,” says Grotts. “Natural conversations are far more memorable than any exaggerated ‘show’ charm.”

If you find yourself preoccupied with your own accomplishments this holiday, take a moment to engage with others at the table, ask questions about their lives and listen to their stories, says Grotts.

“Authenticity is the best way to make a lasting impression,” says Grotts.

Stay glued to your phone

It might seem harmless to scroll through a few TikToks on your phone or check your score, but etiquette experts warn that spending too much time on your phone can be gross.

“When guests are glued to their phones, it prevents real connection with others,” says Spencer. “Take a group picture to remember the night, but then put your phone away and enjoy the good times and great conversations.”

Although we’re all used to having our phones with us 24/7, sometimes it’s best to put them away and plan to check them minimally throughout the night.

“It’s much easier to resist temptation if it’s not in your pocket, so pack it away for the evening and focus on connecting with the people around you,” says Spencer.