When my third child was born, I realized that my daycare bill was officially more than my take-home pay. I began to wonder if it made sense to continue working – and I’m not alone in these mental calculations.

Nearly half (45%) of moms say they’re considering cutting back on work hours or quitting altogether to save money on childcare, according to BabyCenter’s 2023 survey of 2,217 moms. After all, why commute when you can stay home and spend time with your kids… for more money?

Although the numbers seemed clear, I knew the decision was more complicated than that. In the end, I weighed other financial benefits, my family’s needs, and my personal priorities.

Just comparing whether your salary is more than or less than the cost of daycare is a short-sighted way to invite yourself, agrees Jen Reid, financial planner and founder of Base PlanningOpens a new window.

If you’re in the middle of a similar decision, here are four things you should consider before changing your job description to SAHM.

What will your family’s needs look like in the long run?

Sometimes juggling work, childcare logistics, and five kids under the age of 10 has made me so stressed that the life of a SAHM sounds simpler. But as my older mom friends assure me, this phase will end. My kids will grow up and the hectic diaper and bottle phase will settle down. Will I still want to stay at home then?

Before you quit, challenge yourself to think long-term, advises Suzanne Brown, CEO MompowermentOpens a new window consultant specializing in work-life balance: “What does your family – your children and potentially your parents or elderly relatives – need from you right now? How long will these needs last, such as illness, the newborn phase, long-term parent or child care etc.?” And perhaps more importantly: what will you want to do when they no longer need you?

This was difficult for me: I wanted to work, but I also had numerous obligations to both my parents and children (the ultimate dilemma of the sandwich generation).

If you leave, even for just a year, how hard will it be to come back?

– Suzanne Brown, Work-Life Balance Consultant

As I’ve learned, broadening your view of what life might look like in a few years (and not just now) can ensure that you make a decision that will serve you well after the baby. When I looked beyond these specific years, I saw longer periods of time where babies didn’t need me all day, for example. I have seen the cost of keeping five older children fed, clothed and involved in sports add up. I tried to remember what they say is true – no stage will last forever.

How staying at home will affect your finances outside your salary?

I finally realized that part of my struggle with this SAHM decision was that it seemed rooted in old, sexist ideas. Why did we only compare my current salary to per diem? What if in the end it’s my career that needs to continue, not my husband’s?

Comparing both of our salaries with the costs of kindergarten still didn’t give us the full picture. We had to consider other parts of our budget as well. Staying at home can have some unforeseen costs. Here are some to consider:

• Healthcare: Your costs may increase if you currently receive insurance benefits through your job.

• transportation: You may spend more on gas if you drive a lot as a SAHM.

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• Increased daily consumption: What will daily life as a SAHM look like? You may spend more on entertainment and childcare during the day (obviously not as much as daycare, but still something).

• Pay cuts, now and later: “Long term, can you afford to take a pay cut when/if you return to the workforce, especially after a few years?” Brown says. “It’s not uncommon to have to start at a lower level or switch roles to ones that may pay less after a break in the workforce.” You might also get a raise or two if you stayed in the workforce – so that’s something to factor into your decision.

What makes you most fulfilled?

Most of us know a mom who just seems destined to be a SAHM, and another mom who wouldn’t touch the role for a million dollars. I would be a restless SAHM, unable to be fully mentally present for long stretches of the day, missing work from which I derived some serious value and fulfillment.

Before you transition out of the workforce, ask where the decision comes from. “Are you making this choice or do you feel pressured by family, friends, friend group, community, etc. to become a SAHM?” Brown says.

If you plan to re-enter the workforce, what challenges will you face?

The last thing a mom leaving work for the last time might be thinking about is going back. As a teacher, I struggled with the fact that every year I didn’t teach wouldn’t count toward my pension. I also knew that I would not be guaranteed the same position if or when I returned. That’s a risk.

In many industries, it’s worth considering how much traction or revenue you might lose with an extended hiatus. For example, fast-changing fields like technology can be extremely difficult to re-enter after a resume gap.

“If you leave, even for just a year, how difficult will it be to rejoin the workforce in your current industry?” Brown says. “Will you need retraining? Will your network still serve you? Not all industries are equal when it comes to the ramp to rejoin the workforce.”

Finally, I’ve found various combinations of SAHMing and working over the years, starting with transitioning to a part-time job after my third child. I later changed careers and returned to full-time work as a writer. This puts me out of the SAHM camp, but I still have the perks of working from home (like throwing in a load of laundry before every Zoom call). This balance is how I found ultimate fulfillment, but the answer changed as my life changed—what worked with three kids wasn’t the same as what worked with just one or all five kids. So I had to become flexible.

After all, a multi-tasking mom can do just about any job in the world… if she wants to.